Strands 2

One

My new pharmacist is lovely. Yesterday I had a medicine review with him, and he is kind and encouraging. He complemented me not just on my inhaler technique, but also on the effectiveness with which I control my other symptoms. I no longer dread collecting my prescription every month.

Two

Since I began counselling, I have developed a number of new techniques to help me to cope with everyday life. I have a diary to write my thoughts into, so that I don't dwell on them at bedtime. I drink hot chocolate to help me relax. I have a morning schedule and a night-time schedule. I give myself points for every good thing that I do in a day - even something as small as feeding the cats or doing the washing-up. My current high-score is 30.

But most importantly, I have thrown myself into my hobby - crochet. I have started to sell my creations online, and it stops me from feeling useless, even on my bedridden days when nothing else makes sense. There is a book on crochet and depression that I am eager to read when I have the money and the time.

Three

I have started going to gigs again, meeting up with friends and adding old acquaintances on Facebook. I've started to feel that perhaps I may not appear to be such an idiot as I once thought I did. One of my particularly close friends from my university days has a habit of playing Cupid amongst her particular circle of friends, and upon hearing that Leo and I are amicably separated, decided to introduce me to another single friend of hers, believing that we might have a lot in common.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, things did not go well - but not due to my depression or anxiety. He loved the sound of his own voice too much, interrupted me when I finally managed to get a word or two in edgewise, had no regard for my personal space, and seemed genuinely surprised when I wanted neither to kiss him or to go home with him. In fact, the whole experience left me quite upset. Are all men so narcissistic these days?

Leo had been ribbing me for days before the event, but seeing the look on my face upon my return has thankfully silenced him.

Four

In my attempts to re-engage with society, I fear I may have taken on too much. Four blogs, four Facebook pages, two online portals to my crochet business and a social life - inevitably I end up slipping, and neglecting one or more of these duties I have created for myself.  Perhaps I should set up a routine for these things too. I wouldn't want to intimidate myself with an enormous workload, and undo the progress my counsellor and I have made so far.